Jan. 1, 2026

Episode 4: "Did You Want Alcohol in That?" - Why Servers Are Smarter Than You Think

In this episode, I'm telling the story of the time a customer called me stupid for asking a perfectly reasonable question: "Did you want alcohol in that?" But here's the thing... servers aren't stupid! We're college students working on degrees. We're people with incredible social intelligence who can read a room, juggle ten tables, diffuse tense situations, and remember your aunt's gluten allergy all at once. The skills that make someone a great server: quick thinking, emotional intelli...

Show Notes
Transcript

In this episode, I'm telling the story of the time a customer called me stupid for asking a perfectly reasonable question: "Did you want alcohol in that?"

But here's the thing... servers aren't stupid! We're college students working on degrees. We're people with incredible social intelligence who can read a room, juggle ten tables, diffuse tense situations, and remember your aunt's gluten allergy all at once. The skills that make someone a great server: quick thinking, emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, multitasking under pressure, which would make them successful in any career that requires serious people skills.

So why do some customers assume we're idiots?

We're breaking down the ridiculous stereotype that service work equals low intelligence, why clarifying questions are actually professional (not dumb), and how the best servers possess skills that translate to sales, management, healthcare, customer service, and beyond.

In this episode:

The intelligence and skill it actually takes to be a good server
Why so many servers are working through college or building other careers
How emotional intelligence and people skills are undervalued in the service industry
The condescension servers face — and why it's completely undeserved!

If you've ever been underestimated because of your job title, this one's for you.

Perfect for current and former servers, college students working in restaurants, or anyone who's tired of service workers being treated like they're less-than.

Don't forget to tip your favorite waitress :) It would really help out the podcast, please click on the link: https://buymeacoffee.com/bitterwaitress

WEBVTT

00:00:00.560 --> 00:00:03.600
Hi, I'm Yasmin and I'll be your server today.

00:00:03.759 --> 00:00:06.719
I'm a full-time waitress at a casual dining restaurant.

00:00:06.799 --> 00:00:11.519
I'm on foot for 10 hours a day and I serve hundreds of customers each week.

00:00:11.759 --> 00:00:14.560
And these are my customer service stories.

00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:22.559
Hello to all my servers and bartenders and all my current and former customer service personnel.

00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:25.760
Thank you so much for joining me today.

00:00:26.079 --> 00:00:33.840
Today is the day we are going to talk about people's misconception about our intelligence.

00:00:34.159 --> 00:00:39.280
So I want to tell you a little story about a customer calling me stupid.

00:00:39.840 --> 00:00:42.399
And yeah, you heard me correctly.

00:00:42.479 --> 00:00:47.520
She just point blank said that I'm a quote-unquote stupid waitress.

00:00:47.920 --> 00:00:53.119
And um this story begins on a hot summer day.

00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:54.880
And why am I telling you that?

00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:57.920
Because we were serving these blue slushy drinks.

00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:02.320
So these blue slushy drinks were advertised on our little sandwich board.

00:01:02.479 --> 00:01:20.959
As soon as you enter the restaurant, you could throw a shot of vodka in there, you could, or you could have it non-alcoholic if you want it, because it was hot in August, it was super humid, and you know, we wanted we wanted our customers to feel cool and refreshed and happy.

00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:22.560
And what happens with happy customers?

00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:23.439
They dip us more.

00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:27.040
So yeah, we're gonna serve lots of refreshing beverages.

00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:38.239
And um, I had a table of these four ladies come in, and I walk over, I introduce myself, I ask them what they'd like to drink, as we all do.

00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:46.159
And the last lady to order asked me for a blue slushy drink, and that's great, okay, perfect.

00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:54.799
And I asked her, would you like it with alcohol or without alcohol?

00:01:55.120 --> 00:02:09.120
Because you know, there's different reasons why somebody wouldn't want alcohol in their drink, and being in the serving industry, we all know, we all know people are different, they're all very particular.

00:02:09.360 --> 00:02:27.039
Sometimes they want things a certain way, and unless you ask, you're gonna arrive at the table and they're gonna be like, Well, I didn't really want this, and you're like, ah shit, the one time that I didn't point blank ask them, they want to change it somehow, or they're telling me that that's not what they expected.

00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:42.719
So, anyway, always remember to ask, always remember to get the details on these orders, and um with an attitude, she responds, Oh, stupid waitress, obviously I want it with alcohol.

00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:44.159
Well, like, what?

00:02:44.800 --> 00:02:53.840
Excuse me, like, listen, listen, lady, there are many reasons why someone would not want alcohol in their drink.

00:02:54.000 --> 00:03:06.400
Like, the thing is that you know, sometimes people like joke with you, whatever, but that was like a little like mean spirited, like it did not come off like haha.

00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:08.479
And why are you calling someone stupid anyway?

00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:11.120
Anyway, so back to my point.

00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:13.120
Why would somebody not want alcohol?

00:03:13.199 --> 00:03:14.319
Let's go through these reasons.

00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:20.719
One, maybe you're a recovering alcoholic, maybe you're sober, maybe you don't want alcohol in your drink.

00:03:20.879 --> 00:03:24.479
Two, maybe you're the designated driver and you're not drinking.

00:03:24.639 --> 00:03:26.879
Three, maybe you don't like alcohol.

00:03:27.039 --> 00:03:31.680
I've met people that just they don't like the taste of it, it's too strong for them.

00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:39.439
Another reason why you may not want alcohol is maybe it's for like religious reasons.

00:03:39.520 --> 00:03:44.080
Like there are some people that don't drink because of their religion.

00:03:44.400 --> 00:03:50.879
So, again, several reasons why my question was a hundred percent legitimate.

00:03:51.120 --> 00:03:56.719
We don't need to get nasty here, and we don't need to assume people are stupid.

00:03:57.039 --> 00:04:08.159
And um, anyway, so I got the drinks for this table, and they weren't like, and this lady just had this real like attitude, know it all.

00:04:08.319 --> 00:04:10.400
Like, I asked them, Are you ready to order?

00:04:10.639 --> 00:04:11.680
No, we need more time.

00:04:11.840 --> 00:04:19.759
Like, I don't know, there was just something I feel like she had um a bit of a superiority complex.

00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:27.839
I think that's like she felt like she was like better, like there was just something about the way that she was interacting with me.

00:04:28.079 --> 00:04:43.040
And I don't know if it's because like maybe because I'm older, like maybe she just thought like automatically, like I'm some idiot, trash, like couldn't finish school, and all I could do is like find serving as like my career.

00:04:43.279 --> 00:05:01.600
But let me tell you something, especially for those people who are listening to this podcast that have no serving experience, the people that I work with are actually like like the team and people who have come and gone from that restaurant as well.

00:05:01.839 --> 00:05:09.920
Like, to make it in serving, you actually do have to be um to be intelligent.

00:05:10.079 --> 00:05:11.839
Like, I want to put that out there.

00:05:11.920 --> 00:05:20.000
Like, there have been girls that have joined the team that were, and I say this respectfully, but just just couldn't cut it.

00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:34.959
Like, and I think part of the reason was like they just they weren't that bright, like they couldn't take hints and signals from the customers, they didn't like couldn't catch on to like the process, which is pretty straightforward.

00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:55.439
Like, you actually do have to have some common sense and intelligence to survive in that industry, especially navigating like customer complaints, um, all these things, and and like I want to tell you, like, I love the girls I work with, like a lot of them are doing their like undergraduate degree.

00:05:55.680 --> 00:06:02.319
There um was somebody that came and went and she was like applying to do her master's degree.

00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:09.519
Um, and you don't even have to be in school, like education does not define you as a person.

00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:12.639
Albert Einstein flunked out of school.

00:06:12.879 --> 00:06:18.800
There were a lot of people that dropped out of school that went on to do really well in their careers.

00:06:18.959 --> 00:06:24.720
Like, wasn't it Mark Zuckerberg who dropped out of school and now, like, hello, Facebook?

00:06:24.879 --> 00:06:44.800
I mean, Jesus, like, we have so many people in the world that don't didn't do all this formal education and went off and became incredibly successful, like it does not make you into a successful person whether or not you do school.

00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:51.759
And I would never tell my son that, and I hope he never hears this, because I definitely want him to go to school and experience that.

00:06:52.079 --> 00:07:01.199
But between us, you you know, it doesn't, it doesn't um make you an into an intelligent person.

00:07:01.360 --> 00:07:08.000
If anything, there was actually this kid I remember in in high school, and he had no common sense whatsoever.

00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:41.279
Like he was just I it was like impossible to talk to him, he had no social skills, he like I don't know, was he would go out and like shoot squirrels, like but he was a genius, like he was just in my calculus class, like he was on I don't know, the final chapter, and we were just like starting out, like he was so bright, and he went on to um to get into engineering at the University of Toronto, like you know what I'm saying?

00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:54.399
So also to my point about not having an education is that even if you haven't done post-secondary education, um who cares?

00:07:54.560 --> 00:07:56.079
Like, you know what I mean?

00:07:56.480 --> 00:08:35.279
And I feel like there are a lot of people whose personalities and how they can interact with people make them into like these superstar like servers, like they are so good at their jobs because there's more to it, and I don't think people realize that, but there's this heavy sales element that customers do not see, like, we have competitions, competitions on who can sell the most, on who can like um if there's like something a promotion or like a new feature on the menu, who can sell the most of that?

00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:38.639
And let me tell you, like, sales skills are hard.

00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:43.360
I am not a salesperson, I am not good at selling whatsoever.

00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:57.679
That is very, very challenging in itself, and there are some people who are so who can like befriend a customer in the first like millisecond that they meet them, and they are besties and they can just sell them anything off of the menu.

00:08:57.759 --> 00:09:01.279
And I'm like, how in the world did they do that?

00:09:01.440 --> 00:09:21.919
That is that is incredible, it is incredible, and I think those skills you can't can't be taught at all, and you know, those people would go far in like any industry in most industries, because you know, you have to deal with people in a lot of different jobs.

00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:26.399
So, in any case, back to the story.

00:09:26.879 --> 00:09:34.080
So, serving this this table, the lady calls me stupid, she's a little abrasive, superiority complex.

00:09:34.480 --> 00:09:39.759
You know, I finish, um, it's all separate checks, of course, pain in my ass.

00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:52.080
And then her tip was by far the worst, and like I tried to like stand there and make friends and have a conversation at the end of it while I was billing all of them out.

00:09:52.320 --> 00:10:06.639
Everybody else was like actually like pretty generous, but their tips, and I remember hers was like the stingiest, and she was talking about like how um she had like worked for doctors and blah blah blah blah blah.

00:10:06.720 --> 00:10:08.320
I'm like, so so what?

00:10:08.559 --> 00:10:09.279
So what?

00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:10.080
Who cares?

00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:11.919
Who cares what you do for a living?

00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:30.000
If you can't be kind and humble and you know good to other people, it doesn't matter what you do for a living, like that does not make you a success in my eyes, but I mean that's just me.

00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:36.000
Anyway, that is how I feel.

00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:38.399
Don't judge, never judge people.

00:10:38.639 --> 00:10:42.240
Now that is the stupid thing to do, is judging people.

00:10:42.480 --> 00:10:48.399
Let me know if you have a story about a customer making assumptions about your intelligence.

00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:50.240
Um, you know, leave it in the comments.

00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:52.159
I would love to read about it.

00:10:52.399 --> 00:10:58.879
Please, please don't forget to follow the podcast, share, it would really, really help me out.

00:10:59.039 --> 00:11:08.159
Um, I've recently set up a tip jar, so if you enjoy the content and want to help out an indie podcaster, you can click on my Buy Me a Coffee link in the description.

00:11:08.399 --> 00:11:10.159
Thank you so much for listening.

00:11:10.399 --> 00:11:12.799
As always, this means a lot.

00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:15.679
Um, this is your bitter waitress signing off.